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D Malone McMillan

Belizean Pedicure: An Ezekiel Novel

Belizean Pedicure: An Ezekiel Novel

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Belizean Pedicure is politically incorrect, irreverent, funny and dark, featuring a unique and quirky mix of history, politics, technology, a splash of religion and ultimately lightly seasoned with a pinch of the paranormal. A multilayered, stand-alone story, on its surface, it is the humorous first person account of Zeke and his quirky crew of dysfunctional misfits stumbling through life. On a second level, Belizean Pedicure is a cautionary tale of the inherent dangers of our democratic political system. Ultimately, the subtle structural plot encourages the reader to question the nature of our existence and our relationship with our creator.

Obama sheep will not be pleased with the read. The book makes a great educational gift for the holier-than-though progressive in your circle with no understanding of even basic economic concepts. You know the one; the self-righteous jerk that somehow believes donating other people's money to the less fortunate makes them gallant.

Since the onset of puberty, Zeke has been haunted with powerful disturbing visions driving him to the brink of insanity. A mysterious vagrant, Hobo, influences Zeke to unleash his manacled demons in order to reconnoiter an unlikely conspiracy that may incite a second US Civil War. Hobo is a small, freakish-looking man, preferring women's clothing stolen from unattended beach towels. Zeke considers Hobo an insufferable twit yet inexplicably relishes his company.

Ardy is that friend. With an uncanny resemblance to Elmer Fudd, he is a bit creepy (Zeke's wife argues more than a bit) but lovable. He manages to flounder from one tragically humorous scene to the next, tortured by a jealous, three-legged, one-eyed, mangy dog. Ardy's bucket list includes carnal knowledge of Zeke's feral sister and just about any "woman" with a pulse and boobs...vagina preferred, but optional.

During a visit to San Pedro, Belize for his sister's wedding, Zeke meets a couple of hard partying, little people. Lubricated with copious amounts of alcohol, the pair reveal they are code writers for Sony and are developing a cutting edge, augmented reality based video game. The universe building game, entitled "The Garden of Eve", utilizes inputs from the user's social networks, mobile apps and favorite websites to influence the outcome. The user of the game is aptly called the Creator. The game's outcomes are unique to each user, creating an infinite number of parallel universes. Zeke comes to recognize the similarity of the game with his own confusing reality as he realizes his visions are glimpses into parallel universes. This revelation consequently leads Zeke to question the nature of his own creation.

Author: D. Malone McMillan
Publisher: D Malone McMillan
Published: 02/18/2016
Pages: 280
Binding Type: Paperback
Weight: 0.72lbs
Size: 8.50h x 5.50w x 0.59d
ISBN: 9780692648827

About the Author
McMillan, D. Malone: - D Malone McMillan, the grandson of South Georgia sharecroppers, is a north side of fifty something-year-old former Senior Executive for a Fortune 50 telecommunications firm. After a brief tour with the U.S. Army, McMillan received his BSBA from Shorter College in Rome...Georgia. McMillan, from Tifton, GA., currently makes Jacksonville, FL home with his wife Jennifer and his asymmetrical dog and best friend Jaws. He enjoys fishing, scuba diving, snorkeling, cycling, golfing, reading, beer drinking, traveling, Jalapeno Cheetos, and long afternoon naps. Never under estimate the curative powers of Cheetos and naps. McMillan is married to his beautiful and sometimes adoring wife, Jennifer, has three grown children, and currently has five occasionally well-behaved grandchildren. With his wife Jennifer he has traveled extensively in the Caribbean and Europe and they have a second home in San Pedro, Belize. Belizean Pedicure is the second novel in the Ezekiel series. To learn more and read the author's blog, visit

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