Why I Couldn't Love Myself: My Journey to Self-Love!

The lotus flower grows in deep mud, far away from the sun. However once it reaches light it becomes one of the most beautiful flowers on earth. Traumatic circumstances have made me want to give up on life. Being alone in the dark for so long - I questioned: Did I truly have to go through so much pain the first 14 years of my life? In addition to that, live the next two decades trying to get over the pain?In my life there have been many fights, a ton of mental break downs, overwhelming emotional trauma, fits of rage and encounters with child sexual abuse. It couldn't possibly get any worse - could it? There has to be a better way. But, how do I overcome trauma, pain, anger and humiliation? For real, who was going to be there for me as I suffered through the pain of life? My sun and my answer came in the form of Jesus. Our lives are precious to God. No matter the issues that have confronted us - we are able to overcome all of them through the love of Jesus. A beautiful flower can emerge from mud; ashes can be turned to beauty; weakness turned to strength, and life can be enjoyed to the fullest. Overcoming the harshness of life comes from learning that you are loved. Because of the love that Jesus has for you, you can learn to love yourself. Through my journey to self love you'll be able to see that I was able to learn the most important lesson in life. Jesus loves me! It's so simple, and yet it's so complex. He loves me simply because I exist, and that is why He also loves you - because you exist.

Author: Tonya J. Montgomery
Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
Published: 02/08/2014
Pages: 182
Binding Type: Paperback
Weight: 0.60lbs
Size: 9.00h x 6.00w x 0.42d
ISBN: 9781495921414

About the Author
Tonya J. Montgomery is an avid reader and book editor; in addition, to being former editor of a non-profit magazine. During her life span she has read over 20,000 books and contributes suggestions, assist with story development and proofreading services. Currently, she is working on her second book, as well as, transcribing the works of other authors. In her spare time she loves spending time with her two grandchildren or walking in the park. Tonya holds a dual Bachelor's degree from Franklin University in Columbus, OH. In this first novel Tonya describes overcoming a past filled with of sexual abuse, extreme poverty, self-hatred, parental neglect and abandonment. She endeavors to convince people that God's love will heal any pain. As a pre-teen she looked for ways to escape the horrors occurring in her home through romance novels. However, the books were never able to block out the ridiculing voices of the past or the sexual abuse she suffered. Tonya had a problem with trusting herself and to further destroy any confidence she might have remaining were the people in her community. They made her feel less than human for receiving welfare and being a teenage mother. Now, with these events evolving in her life she had a crippling view of the world, and questioned why she existed. Angry and upset at the world she began to use her fist and words to wound others. For many years she behaved with aggression and believed that she was unlovable. Feeling as if she had nothing left to offer she began to contemplate ways to commit suicide. It was during this low period of her life that she turned to the Lord. As a single parent of four Tonya eventually came to the realization that she had to do something or become swallowed up by life and poverty. Soon she switched her focus on becoming a better mom, and reading various books helped her discover a path that would help her put the pieces of her life back together. In an amazing journey from teenage pregnancy, anger, and traumatizing social conditions, Tonya has been able to look to God for answers to life's toughest challenges. No longer distressed, she has found peace knowing that she will never be alone again. With increasing confidence of God's love for her, Tonya has been able to reach out to others so they may also discover God's love.

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